Vlad hits homers, not cops (Mandatory Credit: Gary A. Vasquez-US PRESSWIRE)

Vlad Guerrero Not Charged In Disco Attack

Fight Club Discotheque is the name of my punk garage band. I play the keytar.

Vladimir Guerrero is still looking for a team to play for in 2012. And trouble. He found the latter a few nights ago at a Dominican discotheque. Early allegations had “Roadhouse” Guerrero attacking and injuring a police officer after a brawl erupted at the the disco. Or as I like to call it, Beatdown le Biblioteque 12 (which roughly translated, I think, means 12 smashed bookcases). The 6’3, 235 pound slugger, affectionately nicknamed Vlad the Impaler, surrendered himself Tuesday morning but maintained his innocence

”At no time did I attack anyone, nor was I fleeing,” Guerrero told The Associated Press. ”I presented myself at the jail last night after the complaint from the disco, and this morning first thing I went to the police that are handling the case.”

If his last few seasons were any indication, Vladdy probably did a whole lot of swinging and missing during the fight. But there’s good news, after all. Guerrero won’t be charged and will get to do something the free swinger didn’t do much of in his career. Walk. Was that as good for you as it was for me? The entire post was set up for that one lame joke. You’re welcome.

And yes, I know Guerrero had 757 career walks but 250 of them were intentional. The 250 IBB are the fifth most in baseball but well short of Barry Bonds and his ridiculous 688. Guerrero has had an amazing career that should be Hall of Fame worthy. If the 449 homers and .318/.379/.553 career slash line aren’t enough, Guerrero has the fourth most seasons of 25+ home runs while hitting over .300 with 12. He’s behind Ted Williams, Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron. Guerrero did it in 11 consecutive season too, which is tied with Lou Gehrig for bragging rights.

I should note that with enough time on Baseball-Reference’s Play Index, I can make a Hall of Fame case for anybody. But I do think Vlad belongs.

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Tags: Fight Club Discotheque Pure Nonsense Vladimir Guerrero

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