Angels skipper and Howard’s Appliance & Big Screen Superstore front man Mike Scioscia turns 54 on Tuesday. Scioscia has been stockpiling winning seasons, playoff berths (until recently), Manager of the Year trophies, a World Series championship and likely an unreasonable amount of flat screen TVs since taking over the helm of the Halos in 2000. While the seat got a little hot in 2012, Sosh returns to the Angels for another season in 2013 where he reigns as MLB’s longest tenured manager.
So what do you get for a guy who has Mike Trout, aka Everything? Apparently, a closer if the Ryan Madson rumors hold true. But what else? A miracle cure seems unnecessary since he’s recovered nicely from that bout with radiation poisoning in the ’90s. His kid could use a better slash line than .234/.271/.303 at Double-A Cedar Rapids in 2012 but that’s not so much a present for Mike. The Angels drafting his son was a gift enough. Scioscia could use a facial expression that doesn’t imply he’s confused grumpy with a side of hungry but those are expensive. And no, he can’t have Jeff Mathis back.
I don’t know what to get Sosh for the b-day except for well wishes and a gift certificate to the Olive Garden. He strikes me as an endless breadstick kind of guy. Anyway, happy birthday, skip.
There’s a giant and terrifying Mike Scioscia Face cake in the break room, you guys. It tastes like chocolate and sacrifice bunts.