C.J. Wilson Doesn’t Send “Selfies”

By Michael Hllywa

So there I was, just scrolling through my Twitter timeline, just like any other normal person who is addicted to social media. Mostly, I was looking for stuff to read, because, reading is fun, at least that’s what my mom keeps screaming at me from upstairs. During my routine perusal of Twitter, I happened to stumble upon this…

Well, that’s disappointing. With all of the Biogenesis/suspensions talk that has been swirling around lately, it would have been kind of nice to see a ballplayer of C.J. Wilson’s stature thoroughly embarrass himself on Twitter by sending a “selfie” to one of his 171,757 followers. And, 32, is the new 21, or at least that’s what I’ve been led to believe. Your age is not a factor here. I guess I’ll just have to wait until this offseason when he makes a new version of his “Zombie-Proof” Mazda

Hopefully, the reason Mr. 100% Handsome wasn’t able to snap a quick picture of himself for one of his adoring fans, was because he was hard at work trying to figure out why his WHIP currently sits at a career high of 1.401. His SO/9 is back to near a strikeout per inning, but he is still walking nearly four batters per nine innings, and giving up nearly a hit per inning. On second thought, maybe breaking from character, and entertaining a groupie, could’ve helped Wilson? It probably wouldn’t, but, if I were him, I would be willing to try anything to get back to what made him a dominant front-of-the-rotation starter during his time in Texas.