LA Angels News

Mike Trout Comes in Second, Again


The best hitter on the planet may be Miguel Cabrera, but Mike Trout is the best player on the planet. So far in his young career, that designation has only translated into having legions of fans, a couple of Silver Sluggers and a few bloggers receiving restraining orders. No MVP recognition so far, but his time will come. At least, that’s what the voters would like you to believe.

On top of all that, Mike Trout’s hometown of Millville, NJ is running a “local sports stories of the year” series right now. Where did the story of Mike Trout avoiding the sophomore slump finish? It came in second. Please excuse me while I go cry in the corner.

Just for the funsies of it, the third place finish was a local high school football team that finished its year going 2-8. If that’s third place, that is a really low bar. I am going to check back on a daily basis to see which story comes in first. It better be something amazing, Daily Journal.

I attempted to go cheer Trout up at his parents home in Millville, but the local police recognized me from the photo that they began circulating last year. It might be high time that I invest in some hair dye and a mustache. They can’t keep us away from each other forever, Mike.

I made Trout a care package to ease his suffering to go along with the $17 that I am personally pitching in to help pay for his contract extension. Please contact me if you would like to help with the kickstarter fund. I will also need someone to deliver the care package. It seems that the police frown upon an individual breaking the whole “100 feet away” rule. Whatever that means.